My Journey to Hellenic Polytheism

I've always been fascinated with faith, even as a small child. My mom remembers me at three or four, posing as Jesus on the cross and echoing the words to the catechism. My fourth grade religion teacher once banned me from raising my hand because I asked too many questions. 

I attended a Catholic school for eleven years, reciting prayers before bed and going to church every Sunday. My family constantly cycled through parishes, unable to find a spiritual home as tolerant as the kumbaya Catholic culture that my mom grew up in. I loved learning about religion but hated the long, tedious Masses and preachy Sunday school classes. I always felt that Christianity was... missing something. 

     

As a kid, I read every Greek mythology book that I could get my hands on: D'Aulaires, Goddess Girls, The Mythic Misadventures, and especially Percy Jackson. The Greek Gods seemed more real to me than God the Father; they were relatable, lovable, and closer to humanity. I prayed to Artemis at the creek, left offerings to Hades and Persephone, and petitioned Athena to help me with homework. My greatest dream was to time travel to ancient Athens and become a Greek priestess. 

    

By fifth grade, I was openly gay and fed up with Catholic culture. The Church's obsession with purity, blatant homophobia, and refusal to ordain women made me feel like my religion was stuck in the Dark Ages. The sexual abuse scandal was the final straw. My  family joined a progressive Episcopalian parish and put Catholicism behind us. It would take me years to unlearn my Catholic baggage.

    

The Episcopal church was kind and embracing, and I looked up to their women priests, but it couldn't change my disinterest in Christianity. I spent a few years as an agnostic preteen, still dissatisfied and still asking questions. And then I met Her. My Goddess. 

    

Falling in love with Persephone was like being struck by Eros, swift and overpowering. I was sitting in the car in sixth grade, listening to the radio, when a song from Hadestown came on. Winter's nigh, summer's o'er, hear that high and lonesome sound / of my husband coming forth, to bring me home to Hadestown. From that day forth, I was obsessed with the Queen of the Underworld. I memorized the entire Hadestown soundtrack and read every Persephone retelling that I could get my hands on. But a terrifying realization hit me when I saw Hadestown on Broadway.

    

I didn't love Persephone the story of fictional character. I loved Persephone the Goddess.

    

That summer, I discovered Paganism and began the tumultuous process of questioning my religion. Seventh grade was one of the hardest years of my life. I felt torn between two worlds as I fought with my parents about whether Paganism is a valid spiritual path. Persephone hovered over my shoulder the whole time, a specter that haunted my dreams and drew me closer to an exhilarating future. I was lonely at my Catholic school, filled with preteen angst, and desperate to devote myself to the only God who "understood" me. In short, I was your typical thirteen year old, but queer and obsessed with an underworld Goddess. That was a rough journey. 😂

    

On February 1st, I put on my mother's white Confirmation dress and walked barefoot to the forest for a solitary ceremony where I dedicated my heart to Persephone and Paganism. The experience was so life-changing that I still can't describe it. That evening, after months of fighting, my parents drove me to a ritual at the Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans. When we danced to the rhythms of the earth in a candelit room, it felt like coming home.

    

Over the past two and half years, my Pagan path has provided me with tremendous joy and solace. I'm not exaggerating when I say that Persephone and CUUPS saved my life several times throughout the pandemic. I am so privileged to live as an openly lesbian, Pagan teen with an embracing faith community and parents who accept me. What a miracle it is, to worship my beloved Gods thousands of years after the closing of the last temples.

Brightest blessings on your path,

~ Rose Eleusis